Early Medieval Sex and Marriage
By Madeline | March 12, 2008
The church was literally obsessed with sexuality in the early Medieval times. As you read through this, you will discover many practices today that still exist that were originated during their sex war; some of which you may have wondered about its origins, others may surprise you. I certainly found it all very fascinating, but then it’s sex and when is that ever NOT fascinating? ;) Hehehe
According to the church, sex was wrong and not just in the act, but also in the mere thought of the act. In fact, finding a person attractive meant that you wanted her carnally and therefore had lustful thoughts about him or her. Usually, however this was a her. Women were ultimately the target of the churches fight against sex and were blamed for all sexual sins. The story of Adam and Eve was altered to reflect Adam engaging in sexual acts with Eve, driven to do so by his lust of her for her sensual attractiveness. Upon entering these sexual acts, he gained a sexual knowledge which was his downfall in the garden of Eden and sent him spiraling into the harsh reality of the real world. As a result, women were cursed with their menstrual cycles as a way of paying penance for their sexually enticing ancestor. Because of this, women were seen as sinful in their very nature and many issues with the world were blamed on them for their original sin. For example, if illness was rampant, it was recommended the men not sleep in the same room with women as their vile nature would attract the illness and cause the man to grow ill almost immediately.
Virgins were considered brides of God, whether they were meant to become nuns or not. Thus men who seduced virgins were considered adulterers who humiliated God with their actions and were punished more harshly than men who cheated on their wives. Men who seduced nuns and were found out were actually denied burial in consecrated ground upon death for their disrespect to God. That said, women who were found committing adultery against their husbands were all the more harshly punished because she did not only cheat on her spouse, but also on God.
The church was so absolutely against sex that even married couples were extremely limited to sex and its purpose was never for pleasure, but for procreation for after all, procreation created more virgins. Women were harassed with guilt for the desire that they derived in their husbands and were often greatly encouraged to without sex from their husbands under the threat of hell and damnation. As ridiculous as it sounds, it worked. These poor women had been beaten down their entire lives for their sin of the creation of lust didn’t need more than a nudge to keep them from pursuing sex with their husbands. As if more encouragement were needed, the church banned sex during holy days and three specific days of the week that they considered holy as well. Obviously, there were less pious people out there or else the population would never have continued if people had sex THAT infrequently! At one point, the church even fashioned a garment referred to as the chemise carouse which was essentially a very heavy chemise with a hole cut out of it. I’m sure everyone’s imaginations can figure out just where that hole was strategically placed. ;) It was even said at one point that a man who loved his wife strongly was worse than an adulterer for it encouraged more fornication than was necessary for procreation.
While the women were easy to control, the men were the diametric opposite. Even if the men were not performing the actions of sex, they were thinking of it. Honestly, who wouldn’t when it’s shoved in your face so often and you’re told not to do it. Human nature would dictate that it MUST be done! As it was impossible to see what men did when they were in private and, even more impossible, what they thought, the priests strongly encouraged confession in which men had to come forward and confess not only the sins they committed around others, but what they committed when alone and especially what went on in their minds. Their penance for these sins was abstinence in the form of months to literally years. Only then would God forgive them of their carnal sins.
As stated previously, fornication even in marriage was frowned upon, therefore when a man was left widowed, he was restricted from taking another wife as, in God’s eyes, he was still married and to wed again would be considered polygamy. Church’s were very consensual when it came to allowing the dissolution of marriage through annulment or separation, however they would not allow divorce. An annulment was easily granted to people who wished no longer to be wed to their spouse if they stated that the spouse had been previously married. This was easy to get away with for a while and ended up being a great source of revenue for the church. The unfortunate victims in this were the children, however, for any children produced during the union prior to the annulment who were legitimate children where ultimately considered bastards (this could be why Elizabeth would be referred to as the bastard queen later during the Tudor era). After much outrage and protests were raised, it was considered necessary for all marriages to be witnessed (which is why today we have the groomsmen and bridesmaids). Unfortunately, this still did not dissuade the annulments as people easily lied and stated they had witnessed made up weddings to free their friends from wedlock, so a new law was passed that stated the banns must be rang with each union to call attention a wedding so that no one could disprove it’s existence or, more importantly, to make up it’s existence.
The church obviously hated sex and all things associated with sex, however, I found it fascinating how adamant they were against masturbation as well. In fact, there were more books and pamphlets written about abstaining from masturbation than there were against sodomy and bestiality combined!!! Parents of children who masturbated and played with themselves were distraught with fear that their children were going to be sent straight to hell and harshly punished them for their actions.
Honestly, I think that of all times in history to live, this would be one of the most frustrating. The body needs sex, or at least the release of sexual tension through masturbation. The thought of women being so sexually repressed and made to feel so guilty by their feelings and their own body honestly just makes me sick. Men who were pious and had lustful thoughts did many harmful things to their bodies in an effort to remain good Christians such as standing in buckets of freezing water for hours on end and, of course, whipping themselves to purge them of their sins of lust. People during this time lived in absolute fear of God and were disgusted by their bodies natural urges.
Fortunately, the more time moved on, the more progressive sex became as you’ll read in my next article whenever I get a chance to write it. ;)
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